Helen

Age: 28

Location: Birmingham (panicking)

Helen started this website in 2005, for reasons which are still somewhat opaque. She began life as an Essex girl but has since become a provincial librarian. She once had a brush with death in a harbour in Belgium, and is scared of heights. Constantly unsure which decade she lives in, she wears seamed stockings and a flower in her hair. She likes guitars, Las Vegas trash, cocktail bars, Audrey Hepburn, Anna Karina, Pre-Raphaelites, 60s French pop, Nouvelle Vague and Kitchen Sink films, Dusty Springfield, rock'n'roll, r'n'b, and indie music with good lyrics (harder to find than you might think). If she had a time machine, she would go and have tea with the Brontes. She has a filthy sense of humour, and worries too much about things which aren't worth worrying about at all. She gets breathless with excitement at the pens in WHSmith and has written seven unpublished novels (they are unpublished for a good reason). She writes poems about launderettes and bus shelters and has recently learnt how to make them rhyme. She was once an actress in low budget films (no, not those kind), and now sings and plays guitar in a slackabilly band called Helvissa. And when she's not doing that, or talking to the local cats, she's puzzling over what to inflict the readers of prettypettythieves.com with next.

David MacGowan

David is 29, cuddly, bi and lives in Chorley, Lancashire, where he watches way too much Dr.Who, reads old comics, goes for lazy walks and tries to lose a bit of weight. He currently works as a Publicity Officer for a charitable organisation, and gets to work on their website and everyfink.

Articles by David:

Emma Reid

Age: 24

Location: Canada

A lonely, geeky, queer, Canadian, vegan, atheist, air hostess who suffers bouts of bloody awful poetry and enjoys licorice, PG Wodehouse novels, comic books, long bus rides, parenthetical asides, reckless cycling, feckless dykling, self-deprecation, and the music of Morrissey and The Smiths.

(Morrissey's songs saved my life, so he's to blame)

Articles by Emma:

Jennifer Wilmoth (WhyteGrrrl)

Age: 30

Location: California

I was born and raised in Orange County, California. I listened to KROQ back when it was cool and could be found hiding in libraries and thrift stores. I've never really 'fit in', hence the Morrissey connection. With the absence of the great Alain Whyte I, along with some wonderful friends, started the Alain Whyte Fanzine No One Can Hold A Candle To You and also the website www.alainmatters.com. There are currently six issues available, and even an interview with Alain Whyte himself.

Currently residing in central California, with my husband, two fantastic kids, and many cats, rats, and fish, I also design vegetarian and vegan- friendly handbags. Find them at: www.sewjennie.com. I rarely leave the house, but if I do, it is usually only to go to a Red Lightning show, (Alain's new band!) If you see me, feel free to say, "hello" and of course if you would like to contribute to the Alzine, please email me @ WhyteGrrrl@gmail.com.

Articles by Jennifer:

Hilary Hatton

Age: 22

Location: Chicago, USA

Hilary managed to grow to the ripe old age of 18 before discovering the Smiths, and she blames them just a bit for forcing her to transfer universities. She enjoys sleeping past lunchtime, secretly blogging at work about her coworkers in code names, Romantic poetry, Victorian literature, cop shows, buying vinyl despite not actually owning a working record player, daydreaming about Oxford, and composing flyleaf biographies for her unpublished (and as yet unwritten) novels.

Article by Hilary:

Elise Moore

Age: 32

Location: Montreal, Canada

Elise is in the second year of the playwrighting program at the National Theatre School of Canada and is currently in negotiations about turning her award-winning play about Joe Orton, Live With It, into an independent film. Find out more about Elise by reading her interview, here.

Articles by Elise:

Rachel

Age: 24

Location: USA

Email: ppt_rachel@yahoo.com

On to the important question: yes, Rachel has sported quiff, but it was a botched mohawk actually.

Rachel owes Morrissey a lot. She lives in Portland, Oregon, writes fiction, works retail and awaits grad school, more or less in that order. She also plays the bass guitar and adds to the elaborate nest of clothing on her apartment floor, which is used primarily for insulation.

Rachel is shown here with her $25 six-string, Carl. Morrissey is a better violinist than this.

Article by Rachel:

Matthew Speight

Age: 16

Location: Stockton-on-Tees, UK

Email: boro_matt@hotmail.com

I live here in the nice old town if Stockton. I spend way to much time on my PC working on different websites. I have my own Moz site, Trouble Loves Me and one for Johnny Marr + The Healers, Down on the Corner. And like everyone else I have a Myspace, www.myspace.com/matthewspeight. When I am not sitting by my PC, I am out with friends or playing football. I spend time watching Middlesbrough Football Club, normally getting beat.

Article by Matthew:

Steve Hooker

Age: 53

Location: Southchurch, UK

Website: www.stevehooker.co.uk

Essex man of rock 'n' roll. Has the scars to remember The Shakers, Boz and the Bozmen and Rumble by. Quit smoking in 2002. Says, "Don't chase it unless you're going to eat it".

Articles by Steve:

Chiara

Chiara was born in Milan, but has been living in London for the last six years where she works as a translator. She loves reading, philosophy, psychology, Edvard Munch, wearing black and dying her hair red, charity shops, North London, animals and the Slimelight club among other things. She hates crowds and is scared of dogs, and is trying to overcome her fear of flying. She has been vegetarian since she was 14 and she discovered Moz and the Smiths at about 16.

Articles translated by Chiara:

Phill Gatenby

Article by Phill:

Miles Platting

Location: Lancashire

Article by Miles:

Miss Fliss

Article by Fliss:

Maria Starr