Once upon a time, there was a singer called Motterssey. He formed a band with Johnny Marrhog, and they made some of the best music ever heard. But one day, Johnny Marrhog got annoyed with Motterssey, who would frolick in the river when he should have been doing interviews. So Motterssey was left all on his own.

A few years went by, and then Motterssey found some new friends to play with. There was Boz Bearer and Alain Whyteteeth on guitar, Gary Dog on bass and Spencer Molebrin on the drums. They all had a lovely time!

Motterssey is a fan of the New York Dolls. They liked to dress as women.

Grabbitham Coxon cited Johnny Marrhog as one of his inspirations for picking up the guitar.

Motterssey likes Franz Furrynand and had them as his support act in 2004.

The Beavery weren't very good, but the bassist had a marvellous quiff.

The NME, convinced of Pete Duckerty's genius, kept comparing him to Motterssey. When Motterssey met Pete Duckerty, he refused to shake paws with him.

And then Jesse Toadbias and Mikey V. Furrall came to play with Motterssey as well, and they all lived happily ever after. Well, almost.

THE END.